Knowing when it's time...

[3kidsandahorse]

I've never really known anything but saddle seat. I've had 2 riding lives--1 when the 'rents paid for it, and 1 when I was the 'rent and paid for it. :tongue_smilie:

I'm just about ready to quit showing. But I'm not sure if it's just horse problems, location, or showing itself. I've gotten a trail horse and though he's not the easiest ride on the planet, we are having fun. That's what's missing from showing--the fun factor. I've had a tough time finding a show horse that suited me since 2008, and I've spent a lot of time trying to rehab several, both in the show ring and out of it, with mixed but generally bad results. The one that was the best was taken by my daughter. :001_9898: :tongue_smilie:

I'm at the point where I need to decide which direction to go--showing or trail riding. And yes, I have a horse I can do both on if necessary, but that's not the point. How do I know it's time to hang up the habit and full bridle? If anyone has gone thru this, I'd appreciate advice or stories.

This is not a reflection on the barn I'm in, FWIW. This is purely a personal crisis.

[3kidsandahorse]

It's nice to be the first one to go thru this!

[smurphy0806]

Its probably where the post was placed... When I first read the title, I thought you were talking about putting down a horse.

Anyway... I quit riding because I can not afford to have a trail horse as it would cost basically the same as a show horse (minus the shows). I live in Chicago, don't own a house or land, and would have to board my horse. An average (affordable) boarding barn is $500, and since I would have to drive 1-2 hours to get to the nearest boarding barn (traffic BLOWS), I wouldn't be able to get out there every day. So I'd have to hire someone to exercise my horse a few days a week. Just not worth it. If I'm going to spend an arm and a leg, I might as well show.

So, after I had trust issues with several trainers, I started stressing over horses and realized it wasn't fun anymore. Riding was a blast, but showing just, wasn't worth it.

I vowed I will never have a horse with a trainer again, it became stressful. I'll probably also never really show again, maybe dressage because I think I can do low levels by myself or with the occasional clinic or lesson. But not SS.... its too expensive, too stressful, and lost its fun.

But to answer your question.... You know your done when its winter and you don't miss showing. I wasn't able to show last summer because my horse wasn't ready... and... I didn't miss it. That's how I knew I was done.

PS - Ask the mods if you can change the title... It may help get hits. :)

[SmartAlex]

She can change it herself if she edits the first post in the "Advanced" mode.

You're not the first one to go through this. I'm still going through it. It's hard to break the pattern where you feel you need to have a show as a goal. And it involves some soul searching, especially if your horse hobby is an ingrained part of your self image.

I've sort of phased out of it. First I quit cold turkey. Then I got back into it and went to one show and got my blue ribbon. Thus far, I am resting on those laurels. I had every intention of showing last year to the point of sending in the entries and getting the trailer ready and cancelled mere days before departure. A lot of that is because showing was a family thing, and our family dynamics have changed. But also, my interests and priorities have changed. I do plan to go to that one show again this year, but that remains to be seen. And yes, I will spend months agonising over the decision. I still dream in blue ribbons and five gaited stake classes, but the reality of actually doing it no longer fits with my lifestyle or my personality.

[SaddlebredMom]

That's what's missing from showing--the fun factor.

My credo about this: When it stops being fun, we stop doing it. :cool:

What's the point if it's not fun any more? When it becomes work or just another task to deal with and get through, where is the enjoyment; and if there is no enjoyment, then what do you gain from doing it that makes it worth doing?

If you're having fun on the trails, then by all means hit the trails! It's perfectly fine to take a break from the show ring whether that be permanent or temporary, and it will still be there for you when and if you change your mind. :)

[shayna]

Showing is awfully expensive so if you aren't really having fun anymore that is so much money you are wasting when you could take the "show" money and take a 3 day weekend to some far off state park and go camping with the ponies! i'm not showing because im A i don't have then money B don't have the time so consider that when reading my advice but just think about it.... trail riding ... maybe in the mountains... WITH FANCY NEW SADDLE BAGS!!!! one with a cooler so you can bring along soma these :margarita:

heehheee im very bad at using smileys so im trying to get better at it! LOL:winkiss:

[3kidsandahorse]

You've put your finger on both problems, SM, SA and Shayna.

Showing is expensive, true. Trail riding is inexpensive, flexible, and can be done alone or in groups. :tooth: I work 2 jobs, and I can really feel a link between work for a month at 1 job and show 1 class. When you add that to not doing well at shows, I would prefer to decline. Poor little ol me.

But, I ask, what if you found a really nice show horse (not Lville, just one that behaves) and at least had a chance at not looking like an idiot. What would you do then? Would you regret not showing, and regret looking like a spoiled child that won't show if you can't win? :001_9898:

I'm not getting younger, and I'm not real interested in showing when I'm 80.

[shayna]

If you still enjoy showing but your horse is not doing it for you and you have the chance to get one that does better go for it... I guess you are competitive! I feel that way to an extent... Example: last year I showed my cousins QH mare and she hadn't been worked in quite a while... rode her for about a week got to the show and she basically flew around the arena (western, mind you) like a freakin bronco and made me look like a fool.... Won't be showing her again... Captain I could go a year without riding hop on and still place... maybe not win but place.... So as far as competitiveness goes for me its still fun if I feel the horse (and I) can keep improving but I think I would lose interest if we reached a plateau... I would quit....

BUT having said that... Just because you may find a horse that has potential to do well you don't owe it to the horse or anyone else to show if you don't want to... horses have no agenda... they may enjoy showing but they don't feel "cheated" if they aren't constantly in the winners circle... they are just as happy at home being loved and going out and seeing the scenes of the world...

So I say it just depends on if its the horse you no longer enjoy showing or if its showing in general that has lost its magic for you...

[3kidsandahorse]

I guess I'm saying I don't know if I'd enjoy showing even if I had a decent show horse. At this point, I'm so tired of being embarrassed on problem horses it would take a push-button horse to get me to a show. And, would that even be enough?

I spend my working life under the microscope, where ANY error will be commented on. In the show ring, again ANY error will be commented on (and it will be seen by someone even if it's not the judge). Perhaps that's why I want to be out on a trail where ANY error (as long as it doesn't cause an injury) doesn't matter. Especially if no one else sees it. :oops:

[3mares]

Well, it sounds to me like you have already made your decision, you want to trail ride and trail riding can be a blast! So, I say trail ride and then if you ever feel like showing again you can, whether it be in 2 months or 2 years or 20 years, the show ring will always be there when you decide to go back. Happy Trails!

[shayna]

Nothing wrong with enjoying your horse on the trails... just because you don't show doesn't mean you are any less of a horse-person... i dont care what anybody says... our horses are there for us to enjoy in whatever way makes us both happy... And I agree... the shows will always be there and someday if you choose you can come out of "retirement"!

[SmartAlex]

And I agree... the shows will always be there and someday if you choose you can come out of "retirement"!

See that's the part that isn't true. Throughout my teenage years (and from what I understand, a generation before me) there was a terrific tri-state all breed saddle club circuit that we showed in. We signed up for points, and showed every Sunday from mid-May to Labor Day and never in the same place twice. Some classes had 20-30 horses in them. Today, that circuit has dwindled to 4 shows at the same show grounds. All the saddle clubs have either sold out to housing developments or limited their activities to trail riding.

And while I still live on the edge of two very nice Saddlebred type circuits, many of those shows have gone as well, and some just recently such as the outstanding and long running Western Reserve Classic and Cleveland Classic. Yes, there are shows that have come to take their spots, like the Pink Ribbon, and for awhile Horses for Hospice, but if we don't patronise these shows, they will go by the wayside as well.

This fear keeps my plugged into the show scene. What if someday I find a great keep at home semi-retired gaited horse? What if I decide to take him to a local show and have a thrill for old times sake? Will it be anything like what I remember? Probably not. The best I can do, in the years I don't make it to the shows, is to sponsor classes, and/or show up to watch and support the vendors. Idealy I would also help out. But if they don't get the entries, no amount of sponsorship or gate opening will keep things running. The old saying goes "use it or lose it".

[smurphy0806]

I guess I'm saying I don't know if I'd enjoy showing even if I had a decent show horse. At this point, I'm so tired of being embarrassed on problem horses it would take a push-button horse to get me to a show. And, would that even be enough?

I spend my working life under the microscope, where ANY error will be commented on. In the show ring, again ANY error will be commented on (and it will be seen by someone even if it's not the judge). Perhaps that's why I want to be out on a trail where ANY error (as long as it doesn't cause an injury) doesn't matter. Especially if no one else sees it. :oops:

I guess thats one of the reasons why I don't like SS. Its ALL personal opinion. One judge may value motion over headset, while the other may place a true country horse over a SP horse who isn't placing. Plus you NEVER know (Unless you make a mistake) why you didn't place compared to other horses. I know its unrealistic, but I would LOVE for the judge to evaluate me on a numeric scale... My horses headset was 7/10... Blah Blah Blah.

Have you only done SS? Would you have any desire to do a different discipline? Even Western?

[3kidsandahorse]

Well, it sounds to me like you have already made your decision, you want to trail ride and trail riding can be a blast! So, I say trail ride and then if you ever feel like showing again you can, whether it be in 2 months or 2 years or 20 years, the show ring will always be there when you decide to go back. Happy Trails!

I'm just trying to make sure I'm not quitting because of sour grapes. At the moment finances dictate I trail ride. When that changes it's kind of expected that I go back to showing since that's what 'everyone' does. And I don't know what I want to do then.

See that's the part that isn't true. Throughout my teenage years (and from what I understand, a generation before me) there was a terrific tri-state all breed saddle club circuit that we showed in. We signed up for points, and showed every Sunday from mid-May to Labor Day and never in the same place twice. Some classes had 20-30 horses in them. Today, that circuit has dwindled to 4 shows at the same show grounds. All the saddle clubs have either sold out to housing developments or limited their activities to trail riding.

And while I still live on the edge of two very nice Saddlebred type circuits, many of those shows have gone as well, and some just recently such as the outstanding and long running Western Reserve Classic and Cleveland Classic. Yes, there are shows that have come to take their spots, like the Pink Ribbon, and for awhile Horses for Hospice, but if we don't patronise these shows, they will go by the wayside as well.

This fear keeps my plugged into the show scene. What if someday I find a great keep at home semi-retired gaited horse? What if I decide to take him to a local show and have a thrill for old times sake? Will it be anything like what I remember? Probably not. The best I can do, in the years I don't make it to the shows, is to sponsor classes, and/or show up to watch and support the vendors. Idealy I would also help out. But if they don't get the entries, no amount of sponsorship or gate opening will keep things running. The old saying goes "use it or lose it".

I guess being in the sticks has its advantages. Our local show ring is packed full every weekend, either with QH shows or ASB shows. We show 5 times a year (with an option for 6) 10 minutes away, and there's always shows in OH to go to. So finding a place to show isn't the problem. Maybe you should come down Route 35 and we'll show you a show??? :popcorn:

[3kidsandahorse]

Have you only done SS? Would you have any desire to do a different discipline? Even Western?

I've ridden Western for fun but not shown in it since I was a teenager. The trail horse I have might be nice in hunt seat--he's got a high head but not always SS high. But I don't have the tack or clothes. It means going to another barn or borrowing, but it might work and honestly sounds better.

Hmmm.

[ASB Stars]

You know, I have shown in three seats, over the years. I had not shown a horse under saddle at a non-dressage show in a couple of decades, when I took my dressage mare, and showed her at Devon. She did fine. You really can enjoy these horses doing just about anything-- and the entire key is to ENJOY them!:wub:

[horseluvr]

I used to work, eat and live showing SBs - we did it for many years as a family. Right now have a retired gaited horse and broodmare in the back pasture - they will be with us until it is time for them to cross the rainbow bridge.

Three years ago, DH and I bought a MFT for him and a TWH for me for trail riding. Due to health issues, we have not ridden them as much as we'd like, but when we do get out on them, it is heaven.

I will treasure all my memories of showing and of the wonderful show horses and people I met. My daughter is continuing the show tradition, but also loves to do other things with horses , eg, cutting.

I feel one knows when it time, by how one feels in their heart. It was not easy to let go of the showing, but now that we have done so, life is still wonderful.

[Tazsprout]

I think your comment about your job is very telling. I had a friend who was a trial lawyer that used to help me compete my CDE horse. We had a hard time staying revved about it. we just went out to romp, much to the disgust of all of the "serious" people who didn't think we should be laughing our heads off when we got lost on the marathon phase.

This friend aid (wisely I think) that he and I stepped into a "ring" every day of our lives (him into court, me to a podium of some sort) and really didn't need MORE of that in our lives.

So we trail rode A LOT. And only competed when it was clearly a fun way to spend the day(admittedly easier to do as an event rider).

There are LOTS of fun things to do with horse, none of which involve living under a microscope. Just stay away from the dressage crowd...:(!

[Cynthia]

If it isn't fun for you, for whatever reason, why would you shell out that kind of money for showing? It's not worth it to you, right now, so don't do it. Enjoy your horses. Do what makes you happy with them. My suggestion: competitive trail riding!!! Or endurance! :D So you play around on the trail a lot, get the itch to show, and find a small local all-breed schooling type show to go play around at. From what I remember of places that have those shows, they would often have trail classes with bridges and gates to open and "water" to cross, mailboxes...etc. You didn't need specific tack or riding habits, just a horse and rider willing to try. And then you can always enter into an English WTC or WT class for fun. Or western if you've moved that direction...OR, if you've found a gaited horse to do this with, enter in the "go as you please" classes and rack! The key is to continue enjoying your horses, however that may be.

[SaddlebredMom]

I think your comment about your job is very telling. I had a friend who was a trial lawyer that used to help me compete my CDE horse. We had a hard time staying revved about it. we just went out to romp, much to the disgust of all of the "serious" people who didn't think we should be laughing our heads off when we got lost on the marathon phase.

This friend aid (wisely I think) that he and I stepped into a "ring" every day of our lives (him into court, me to a podium of some sort) and really didn't need MORE of that in our lives.

So we trail rode A LOT. And only competed when it was clearly a fun way to spend the day(admittedly easier to do as an event rider).

There are LOTS of fun things to do with horse, none of which involve living under a microscope. Just stay away from the dressage crowd...:(!

I agree there's a lot of truth in this phenomenon. After working at my law firm with very long and tiring days, the last thing I need is a dose of barn/show drama on top of that. By the end of the day or week, my brain is fried and all I want to do is relax and have fun and enjoy my time at the barn and/or show. :chillpill:

Like my credo says: When it stops being fun, we stop doing it. ;)

[SmartAlex]

I fit most of my barn time into my lunch "hour" and it is often really hard to switch gears in the middle of a work day. It's hard to concentrate on a new challenge. That might be part of why riding has begun to fit into more of a hobby slot in my life than a sport spot.

On an aside, in reference to one of my earlier posts, this morning I was treated to an email from my uncle who is a local historian. He had found two pages of coverage of a local horse show from a 1938 magazine. This was put on by one of the higher eschelon riding clubs (a good portion of that farm is now a country club) and had saddle horses and some hunter/jumper classes. (LLavery's father was pictured twice as an exhibitor in the five gaited mare class) Two day format, and the magazine claimed they had a gate attendance of "at least a thousand". **sigh** those were the days.