Ames Ragtime ++/

[smurphy0806]

Ames Ragtime is a 17 year old Half Arabian Half Saddlebred Gelding. He is by Brass, out of Lady Vain (ASB). He was my first horse. He gave me my first blue, my first title, my first championship.

He helped me through those awkward teenage years, when you don't quite know what to do. He helped me get through so many tough times when my parents were out of work he was the one I talked to. He is my best friend.

I rode him in Equitation, Country English Pleasure, Driving, and Show Hack, also did halter and showmanship with him.

Region 11 Top Five HA Country English PL JOTR
Region 11 Top Five HA Country English PL JTR
Region 11 Champion Halter Geldings In Hand
Region 11 Champion Country English Pl Jr Horse
Region 11 and 9 Top Five Halter Geldings in-Hand AOTH.
Region 8 Reserve Champion Halter Geldings In-Hand
Region 10 Champion HA Yearling Colts/Geldings Champion
Region 4 Top Five HA Yearling Colts/Geldings Champion
US Nationals Top Ten Halter Geldings In Hand Open.
Canadian National Champion Country English Pleasure JOTR
Canadian Top Ten Country English Pleasure JTR
Canadian National CHampion Country English Pleasure Jr Horse
Youth National Top Ten Country English Pleasure JOTR
Youth National Top Ten Country English Pleasure JTR
Youth National Top Ten Halter Gelding In-Hand JOTR

He was everything you could want in a show horse. Honest, Kind, Lovable. An all around perfect horse. He would take the little 10 year old kids and do a lesson and also light up and trot like a show horse when I rode him. He was perfect.

He was supposed to be my forever horse. He was supposed to live much longer. I was supposed to buy a house with land on it, so he could live his last few years in pasture.

This doesn't even feel real. This feels like a dream. We were supposed to have a longer time. We expected to have until fall, but hoped we had years left.

He is lame... He originally was diagnosed with White Line disease, but in the past few weeks, about a month and a half, he has gotten much worse. We have been battling WLD for over a year, trying to get him better with no avail. He has seen multiple farriers, multiple vets, and nothing has helped. Now it seems there are other things wrong. His hoof wall is seperating from his hoof. He has good days, and he has bad days where he can barely walk.

I am saying my good byes tomorrow... in private. On Saturday the family and friends are saying their good byes... and then next week he is going to be put down.

This is my first horse I have had to be put down.

How am I supposed to look at his stall?

[BeccaKW]

Oh Steph. . . . I am so sorry. I can't imagine how you are feeling and i can't imagine what it will be like. . . But just remember that his pain will be gone and he will always be trotting in your heart.

Love Always,
Becca and the gang.

[rhettdgn]

Stephanie-

I am so very broken hearted for you. I have had my guy taken from me too soon as well. He will always hold such a special place in your heart and if you are anything like me will always cry when you watch videos of you riding him even years from now. Rhett was my guy and I always cry when I watch us on video.

There is a special place in heaven for the best friends that we've had that helped us through such trying teenage years. Just know-he will hurt no more, never feel fear or hearbreak and I will let Rhett know that Rags is coming and he'll meet him and be his friend. He will certainly be in good "hooves".

You and Rags are both in my prayers tonight.

Love-M

[davish]

I'm so sorry Stephanie! I understand your pain. Don't even try to figuar this out right now just trust that God is watching over you and him. He is in pain and you are doing the right thing for your friend. You shared some great times and moments with him and that is what you need to hang on to right now. Don't think about how he is right now, just focus on the great times together. If it hurts too much to look at his stall, then don't. There is no reason for you to jump right back into anything. Give yourself time to morn him and move on when you are ready. You will know when that is and it might surprise you when one day you walk by that stall and don't feel that awful gut renching feeling that you have right now or next week. Stay strong and know that he loved you also.
Heather

[Paddy's Girl]

It's tough, but it's love pure and simple what your doing. He took care of you and now your doing what is best for him.

Having lost my guy just a few months ago suddenly, I feel for you. Focus on the good times you had, and it will carry you through the bad.

Bless you for all you did for him. Your a good owner.

[SaddlebredMom]

Stephanie -- My heart is breaking for you and everyone that loves him. It is a very tough decision to make, but you are making it out of love and for all the right reasons. You're on the right track with remembering all the wonderful times you shared together -- it's those memories that will see you through the difficult days ahead, and remember -- he will live in your heart forever.

Prayers and good thoughts sent to you and your beloved Ames Ragtime.

[LillianH]

So sorry, Steph. You were so lucky to have each other all these years - every horse and girl should be so blessed!

[Anke]

I am so sorry for this Stephanie and I grieve for you. It is always difficult saying goodby to a horse, but it becomes even more difficult if he has been such a large part of your life. Hold on to the memories, hold on to the good times, hold on to the intimate moments you shared with your horse and yes, that empty stall takes some getting used to.

I slept with Hippie's halter under my pillow for months, to just have the feeling of keeping him close for just a little longer. Be strong, be courageous, you did the right thing!

[Garastanna]

I am sooo sorry ! You two have been and will be a team forever! You depended upon him and now he is depending upon you * to do the most difficult job of a horse owner. He knows you are helping him- he has and always will trust you. He is part of you and you a part him. I lost my forever horse to a freak accident in 1991 - buried him with red roses. Not a day goes by that I do not think of him.This is not easy - be kind to yourself and give him hugs and kisses and smell his breath and know he is yours and you are his! My thoughts and prayers are with you and Ames Ragtime. This brings tears and I do not even know you - be brave and if you ever need to talk pm.me as I have been where you are now and it is an impossible feeling.

[Gus0429]

First of all let me start off by saying how sorry I am. This will be without a doubt a very difficult time in your life. Having done this a year ago February 24 I know how you feel.

Do what you feel you are capable of. There is no right or wrong in this decision. We picked out a spot on my niece's farm to bury our mare when we knew we had to euthanize her. We chose to stay with her while she was given the drugs, hardest things we've ever done, but also what WE needed to do. My husband, God love him, said he could never witness that again, but he was a trooper and I will be forever indebted to him for staying with me. I also don't think without the Vet that we had it would have been as easy to witness. She was so compassionate and kind. I could just cry when I think about how she helped us make the transition.

It was bitter cold the night before she died and my niece slept in her stall for 2 hours. She made her peace and said her goodbyes that night on her terms. I left her alone, it was her time with her special friend.

We were very fortunate in that we had a place to bury her and a friend of a neighbor came later that day and dug her grave. We didn't know this man from Adam and he didn't charge us a dime. Actually stood there and cried when my niece's boyfriend positioned her in the grave.

Talk to your Vet and weigh your options. You will do what's best for him and for you. More importantly, spend time with him, say your goodbyes and know that you were blessed to have him in your life. Their time here on earth with us it just too short.

Hugs to you Stephanie.

((((((((((HUGS))))))))))

[Mainmom]

I'm so sorry, there just aren't words.....

So very many of us here completely understand the gravity of your situation, your friends on the 'outside'? some of them won't get it. Pour your heart out here to those who know your love of your horse, and because we understand, perhaps we can help you gain strength and give you comfort.

I type through tears just now, as we have been where you are, and will surely travel this road again, only God knows when.

I'll be thinking of you, sending positive thoughts your way.
Amy

[SmartAlex]

I'm very sorry to hear this. He was a beautiful horse.

[smurphy0806]

I don't know if this is the right decision at all... but my trainer has convinced me to wait a bit. My BO thinks we have waited long enough and should put him down, but I like my trainers decision more. (Obviously)

My trainer tends to be an optomist, for good or for bad, and just doesn't want to give up yet. He thinks that he can fix him.

Obviously this horse is not in training anymore, but I keep him stalled at the same barn as my training horse. And I talked to my trainer about it today at the stables, and he respects my BO's opinion, but disagrees. Apparently the BO told my trainer what her plans were, to suggest to put him down, and my trainer said "OK, but if they ask me for my opinion I am going to tell them the truth." I had thought that my trainer and BO were on the same page, but today I discovered they were not.

So I am going to wait 3 weeks to see if he can fix it, and if not we will readdress the issue.

This has been an emotional rollercoaster, but if anyone gives me a chance for hope, then I'm going to run and take it!

Thanks for everyones support. I hope I don't have to rego through this in a few weeks.

[Garastanna]

GREAT NEWS!!!! GOOD-LUCK!!!! You will know when ----any chance keep trying!!!!! You will in your heart know when and if it needs to be done - * I promise.

[tj15]

i am so sorry.

[smurphy0806]

Its time....

I think I'm going to do it Tuesday of next week. Because as bad as that sounds, its going to be an easy day for me to take off of work... and I don't know how else to do it. I talked to my trainer and he offered to drive the trailer to the vet clinic and I can come with if I want to. The farrier came out and didn't give us good news... and it breaks my heart to take Rags out of his stall... he just is as lame as can be.

But you want to know the worst about it? After I made my decision which day I was going to do it, organized everything with my trainer, I came home and was looking through scrapbooks of Rags and remembering the "good ole times." I saw pictures of when my parents surprised me with streamers, and a big bow on the door. (Sidenote - When my parents surprised me the first thing I saw was the streamers, and the first thing that came to mind was "Now who the He$$ put these here!! Don't they know the horses will be scared of them and it could be VERY dangerous!?!?!" then I saw the bow on Rags's door, my entire family and I put 2 and 2 together. )

But back to the point... Not only was he my very first horse... but May 1st was the day the papers got transfered to my name. And the party/celebration happened on April 28th. April 28th many years ago was the day when my parents told me I got my first horse. And April 28th, 2009 I'm going to lose my first horse.

I really just can't stand this. And by the way... I have to say that right now... Life is SO not fair.

[Anke]

Stephanie, life is NEVER fair!
I'll be thinking about you next week Tuesday. Please know that you are doing the right thing and lots of thoughts and prayers will be with you on that day. Be strong for him.

[Garastanna]

I'm sorry too. He is depending upon you to help him * so you will give him that final help .He is a LUCKY horse to have you as an owner. You, both, are in my thoughts and prayers as this is the toughest responsibility of all! I said before, you would know in your heart, if and when it needed to be done and you do know now. Take care of your boy and take care of yourself!

[Gus0429]

Anke took the words right out of my mouth. Life is never FAIR.

I'm too sorry for words. I will be thinking of you on Tuesday and will also say a prayer for both of you. You are about to perform the last final act of kindness and it totally SUCKS.

(((((((((((HUGS))))))))))

[Mainmom]

:( :( :(

[smurphy0806]

Anke took the words right out of my mouth. Life is never FAIR.

I'm too sorry for words. I will be thinking of you on Tuesday and will also say a prayer for both of you. You are about to perform the last final act of kindness and it totally SUCKS.

(((((((((((HUGS))))))))))


It does totally suck...


THANKS SOOO much for everyone's support. I can only imagine what this would be like without the HUGE support group I have.

[Lily]

He knows you love him and he is so lucky to have someone in his life that loves him enough to let him go and be FREE LIKE THE WIND:sad:

[Klopfk]

Stephanie,

I am so sorry to hear this .I certainly can feel your pain. My thoughts are with you and your beloved horse!


Kris - Goosebumps Mom

[kross]

Sorry Steph I know it's a hard thing to do. We are all here for you.

[smurphy0806]

I know it was the right thing to do. He could hardly make it on the trailer and it wasn't even a step up, we had a ramp.

He will be forever missed, and never replaced.

God Speed Rags.

The best horse a girl could ever ask for, the ultimate Youth horse, the perfect teacher. Rags has touched so many lives.

Ames Ragtime ++/, Brass x Lady Vain. July 4, 1992 - April 28, 2009. May your daddy and horse friends meet you at the rainbow bridge. Your Daddy should be very proud.

Thanks for all the support. I couldn't have done it all without you.


~Stephanie

[sparkle]

(((HUGS)))) :sad:

May Rags live in your heart forever....

[Gus0429]

God Speed Rags.

Hugs to Stephanie.

((((((((((HUGS))))))))))

[SaddlebredMom]

Stephanie -- There are no words to take away the pain of your tremendous loss. Only through the passage of time will your mind, which knows it was the right and best thing to do, be able to reconcile with your heart, which is now heavy and broken.

(((((HUGS))))) to you for having the strength to make that most difficult decision and for bringing peace to Rags who you love so dearly.

God speed to Rags -- he will live in your heart forever.

[Lily]

:sad: I am so sorry you hurt so bad....Maybe Rags will see my Tarifa at the Rainbow Bridge he will like her she is a pretty Crabbet, Bay Arabian...Peace be with you, you made the right choice

[Garastanna]

GOD SPEED RAGS! He is out of his pain! You were both LUCKY to have one another!
You are in our thoughts and prayers Stephanie.

[SmartAlex]

I know it is a very very hard and permanent decision to make, but it was the best one.

[Mainmom]

I thought of you two this morning and whispered a prayer.

Godspeed Rags....

[DeidreD]

Let me start by saying that I am so sorry. I know how you feel and it sucks. On Dec 1st I lost the horse that taught me to ride and had been my best friend for 16 years. He had been battling Cushings diesease for several years and had good days and bad days. I knew that the end was coming, and I had always thought that I would have to make the decision to put him down and had always planned on being there when he did pass. I had been with him most all day on Sunday and thought he was better, I checked on him about 11:30 that night and he seemd ok. The next morning he had passed away in the night, and I felt so horrible that I was not there with him. He was in our old barn with a yearling filly and after he was gone we moved her down to the show barn, it was months before I could walk back in that barn and it is still hard, but it is getting easier. I have to keep reminding myself that he is not in pain anymore and that I will see him again someday. Just give it time and it will get easier, but it is going to be hard.

[smurphy0806]

I just wanted to say Thank you to everyone once again...

I have a huge Trot member support group. I have gotten phone calls, and facebook messages, and trot message from so many people. Without everyone this whole ordeal would be so much more painful.

Although, I have to say... I didn't go with on the trailer ride. I chickened out. I said my goodbyes when he was on the trailer, and it still feels fake. Actually I chickened out even more... I didn't really say goodbye.... I talked to him in his stall, and never said goodbye because it was too hard.... and sad. I said goodbye in my heart... but couldn't bring myself to say it outloud... But I know he knew it. I slept at my parents house, and woke up at 6 AM so I could get to the barn ASAP. I spent almost 4 hours with him in the morning, brushing, petting, giving him treats... having him come over and try to "eat" me... lol gotta love horses. It was a fantastic morning.

But, its kinda fake. It just seems like I sold him, or he went on "vacation." But at the same time it is a lot less painful that it could be. And honestly, I think thats a good thing. Especially right now. My last memory of him is on the trailer, instead of at the clinic.

Although I should have waited to leave, because when I got in my car, and turned onto the road to go home... I saw the trailer in front of me... I still see it, and think of it when I close my eyes, I just have kinda pretended that it wasn't "my" trailer.... kinda silly... I know.




I still have not walked by or look at "his stall." Its not my barn, so they put a horse in it, and to make matters worse, my colt (I'm the Treasure) has been placed VERY close to Rags' stall... across the isle and 2 stalls down.... because his neighbor managed to kick a hole in the stall wall and it needs to get replaced.

But. I am surviving. My trainer has been absolutely wonderful, and has let me ride and work my colt multiple times since last Tuesday... although it was kinda blackmail on my part. I said I would only come to the barn if I got to ride my colt. Hehe. :)

Its been rough, but I've gotten through it, and every day seems to get better. So aside from July 4th, (when he should have officially turned 17....), things seem to be getting better.






Although I have noticed, that no horse seems to matter as much as your first horse.... No matter how wonderful or talented they are.... you will always remember every single moment, brithday, anniversary, first place, last place and everywhere inbetween of your first horse....

God Speed Rags.... I hope your enjoying Greener Pastures.







PS... Thanks for putting up with my sappy posts....

[Gus0429]

Smurphy,

There is no such thing as a "sappy" post when it comes to our 4 legged friends. There is also no right or wrong way to do what you did. Your love for Rags shows in your post about him. He was a lucky boy to have you, as you were blessed to have him.

God Speed Rags. I KNOW you're enjoying greener pastures.

[LillianH]

I tear up every time I read your Rags posts, Steph. Because I feel for you, and, also because every horse should have someone who so loved them in their lifetime. Every horse should know the care and love you lavished on Rags.

[Mainmom]

Please go easy on yourself Smurphy. You did what was right for you with the situation at hand and you dealt with it your way. We all do things differently, and what you describe is not 'fake' at all, in fact, it was very real and admirable.

Time will ease your pain somewhat, but that special horse leaves a ginormous hoof print on our hearts, it can't quite ever be filled again.

Peace.

[smurphy0806]

I guess I'm superstitious... I must be... I believe death happens in 3's.... So we had Rags... then 4 days later my best friend had to put her dog down because of lung cancer. Talk about re-living the past, that was h*** on earth. And now a good close friend at the stables is probably going to have to put her horse down (or permenantly retire him to pasture) because of a huge bone chip in his knee....


So this is #3 right?? Because if I have to go through someone else coming to me saying "You JUST went through this, What should I do?" I think I'm going to go crazy. Every time a pet dies, I just relieve Rags... and man, its just too soon for me....